The One with My Bro's Wedding

Dear Brother Daniel,

Since secondary school, we have always known that you will be the first one to settle down, despite your denial. But last night as we bore witness to you entering a new phase in life, it is clear that this is what you have been wanting, and we shared your joy of finding true bliss.

Marriage is a wonderful journey which brings life its meaning and significance, but only to those who believe and are willing to work to protect it. There is no doubt in my mind that with your commitment to each other, you and Olivia will traverse this journey filled with gratitude, memories, and love.

To the best in life and everything you hold dear.

Sincerely yours,
"Leong"

The One with Anything and Whatever

So there is this new drink concept in Singapore market recently, this "Anything" and "Whatever". Now, it's good for a joke, but to put it into a real tangible product and sell it as such, this takes lots of balls, moolah, and blinding stupidity.

Yup, many of us do casually reply "anything" or "whatever" when it comes to buying food or drinks. But to take it literally and have a drink called "Anything" and "Whatever"... that's just... cheap gimmicky.

Now imagine you are at a kopitiam and you are ordering drinks.

You: "Uncle, 1 anything."

Uncle: "Simi anything?"

You (frustrated at Uncle's ignorance): "Neh, the drink lah. Anything."

Uncle (slightly buay song): "I know you want drink lah. What drink lah?!"

You (agitated): "Anything lor!"

Uncle (with dulan face, and super buay song): "(*%()*#&$*_@#_%!! Siao Lian eh, trying to be funny is it? What ANYTHING? I got Coke, Pepsi, Green Tea, Ice Lemon Tea. You tell me what THING you want! NOT ANYTHING!"

You (resigned look): "Okay, Uncle, ok... ok... I don't want Anything liao"

Uncle (in a ready to send you to hospital mood): "EH SIAO LIAN EH?!? WASTING MY TIME AH!??!?!?!?!?"

Is there a need for all these, just to order a drink?

Well here's the trouble with this product. It is Anything, and it tries to be anything, but not Something or One Unique Thing. And marketing wisdom tells us that at the end of the day, it's just Nothing.

Well... Whatever. Ha ha.

The One with the ...

当我决定放下了以后，我才了解你是不可能放得下的。
要忘记，是要几辈子的事。

所以，这辈子，我是做不到了。。。

The One with the Virgin

I don't get the fuss about the virginity issue in a local mag. Just because a local celebrity paraded the fact that she is a virgin and intends to stay that way until marriage, and some amongst us start chipping into this age-old moral debate again.

What gives??? Seriously, the debate that we should have is how to have more sex, and not staying away from it. Sex makes babies, and Singapore needs more of these cuddlies.

Someone says sex is sacred and should be done with the special someone else. And only upon marriage at that. This is serious BULLSHIT. The association of sex to marriage is a totally bogus one. Our caveman ancestors didn't have a ring-exchanging ceremony just so that they can get on with the action.

Having sex after marriage doesn't make one a better or a more moral person; it just make you have sex at a later age, that's all. Virginity is simply a physical state of being.

Some people obviously got this virgin-till-marriage notion from their parents. Well, sadly, these parents never mentioned anything about this little bugger: Divorce. Then the poor girl has to find ANOTHER SPECIAL SOMEONE to get marry and repeat the whole routine again.

Sheesh.

The One with the Can-Can!

If you're dropping by around 12.41 am Singapore time...

WELCOME!

I've got a banner for the blog!

Other than the antique sports car (was trying originally for a limo), the banner rocks! At least I think so!

And what a difference a change of colours make as well! Now the blog feels ALIVE!

ALIVE I TELL YA! YEH!

Haha... look at the obiang font colors! Some designer I am... :P

The One with the Principles

You have Moon Biscuit to thank for this pre-mature release. If you stumble upon here via her blog, you can exercise 2 options:

1) leave;
2) stay

Now that we've gotten clear of everyone's intention, let's go.

Just as Issac Newton has 3 laws of gravitational forces to tell us why we cannot fly like Superman, there are also similarly 3 laws of human relationship dynamics, as described by... ahem... me.

So ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you...

Homo Adfinitas Principia
(or... Principles of Human Relationships in ang moh)

1. Man thinks in a Straight Line (The Single Path Theory)
2. There is always only one problem in any given relationship situation (The Problem Criterion)
3. There is always a Fool and a Fucker on opposite sides of the relationship (The Fool-Fucker Parity)

Okay, get the 3 laws into our heads first. This is Quantum Physics stuff. I might get a Nobel Peace Prize for "Humanitarian Efforts Towards Ending the Timeless War Between the Sexes" with this.

I've said this is pre-mature. Look, I don't even have a proper closing to this post. Ah heck, breakfast is beckoning.

And my milo is turning cold.

The One with the TV Premiere

Has anyone ever wondered why a certain local TV station ever bother showing previous parts of a movie trilogy, AFTER the latest one has already been in the theatres for like 2 weeks?!

Case in point:
Spiderman 3 opened on our shores on 1st May. Some self-righteous local TV station has been trumpeting about the TV Premiere of... Spiderman 2.

On 20th May. Great-o.

And they are calling it "The Movie Event of the Year".

Harlow... Harry Potter in the theatres is a movie event, Pirates of the Carribean in the theatres is a movie event. Heck, even Ocean's Thirteen in the theatres is a movie event. NOT an old movie on TV.

By the way, I saw Spiderman 2 on cable 2 weeks back. BEFORE Spiderman 3 opened.

Is it any wonder why more among us are turning to paid-television and not the free channels anymore?

You know what... in all probability, they're going to come up with "Pirates of the Carribean 2"... AFTER Part 3 turns up.

Geez... some things in life never change.

The One with the Pilot

So we finally got to the point where I can get this blog going. For the longest time, this was waiting to happen, but did not simply because I could not resonate with a name that speaks to me. Then, as with all things when you least expect to find them...

it hit me.

Was getting settled down with colleagues ready to enjoy Spiderman 3, and Da Jie was giving us our ticket stubs. And somehow that led to a rather lame conversation of how I can shoot a short film titled "The Ticket Stub", which is basically really about nothing (what can I say, I'm a big fan of Seinfeld).

And then... EUREKA! "The Ticket Stub" is the perfect title for my blog!

And so it is born. My very own mumbling pad.